Monthly archives

Remember Me ~ The Amy Larter Band

You know if I sort of vaguely think about The Larter Family without properly thinking about it I get a sense of “misfit”. You know….a bunch of dorky people who do genuinely love each other but are also a bit odd. And then one of us goes and does something like this and I think “Fuck odd! We’re bloody awesome!”

This is my cousin Amy… Swoon away!!

Monthly archives

Is this real?

The Family Policy Institute of Washington posted this on their Facebook fan page last week and I was wondering if anyone knows if this is real? I must admit, though I am and always will be pro-choice for what might not be the most conventional reasons  but I can’t get around that little face! Now I know that, when I was pregnant, the first time I felt my kid fluttering around in there was at roughly ten weeks. Looking at that kid just confirms for me that I was not “experiencing gas” – for Pete’s Sake do you really think I can’t tell the difference between a fart and the rhythmic and somewhat vibrational flutter of a palm-sized human being? Anyway – while my own foetus was a heart shaped bundle of wonderful joy-about-to-become-human from the get go I never really questioned the reality that not everyone feels that way about an unplanned pregnancy. But that thing is BABY SHAPED!!!!

I feel a bit sick now…

Also? Where did they get this baby? It seems a bit weird that this woman is holding it…

Monthly archives

Remember Me ~ The Amy Larter Band

You know if I sort of vaguely think about The Larter Family without properly thinking about it I get a sense of “misfit”. You know….a bunch of dorky people who do genuinely love each other but are also a bit odd. And then one of us goes and does something like this and I think “Fuck odd! We’re bloody awesome!”

This is my cousin Amy… Swoon away!!

Monthly archives

Baffling Success

A lovely Australian lady told me the other day that I shouldn’t worry too much about feeling like someone had tossed my universe in a blender and pressed play after finally coming to the end of the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy because I would soon feel better. Well… I still feel like the world is going to hell in a hand basket (weird saying that…) and I don’t think I will be feeling any relief from my high levels of unrelenting anxiety any time soon.  I keep thinking that I should write some sort of neverending thesis on exactly what the heck is going on in these books and then I think “why bother” because so many others have done a sterling job of it already. The thing is this though: for all the faults of Fifty Shades, it certainly opened up a LOT of discussion. And I LOVE discussion. In a world where it would take a lifetime to simply read the titles of all the books in existence it is very seldom that this kind of discussion happens so easily. The only books that allow for a consistent bantering of thoughts are those that everyone is reading. So I think I want to go back to some of those and talk about them. And I hope you will talk back to me because I am dying to know what’s on your mind…  (more…)

Monthly archives

Vegetarianish

I have just realized that I have not had meat since Sunday. Currently I am munching on a piece of toast with Marmite on it. I hate Marmite, but I decided to choose it over Bovril today because Marmite is vegetarian and Bovril is not.

Now I realize that it may be incredibly stupid to think that “sort-of vegetarian” is a thing…but I’m starting to wonder if this isn’t humanity’s problem as a whole.

Let me explain a little…

I have considered vegetarianism on and off for the last fifteen years and even managed it for a couple of months when I was twenty. The problem though is this: I LOVE MEAT. And giving it up sucks. And anyone who knows me knows that getting between me and my meal is not the best idea.

But my conscience is plaguing me lately in quite an excruciating way. Not just with meat but with all kinds of things that I can do absolutely nothing about. Animal testing. Abuse. Poverty. All kinds of “this is what’s wrong with the world” things.  And I just want to wave that magic wand that makes all the bad stuff go away.

I think most of us kind of feel this way though. We wish things were better but give all of it such an all-or-nothing ultimatum that we all choose nothing because “nothing” is more likely to happen than “all”.  So I am trying to change my mindset about absolutely everything.

Yes, there is very little that I can do about the state of my country, my world, my universe, but I CAN do little things and I can even do them often. I want to do more little things. So I am trying. I am trying to steer clear of buying products made by companies that do animal testing (as I have said before – this is kind of complicated but I’m trying!) I am trying to eat less meat and I am trying to do things like buy halal and I am looking into eating more game (hunting is more humane than slaughter) or perhaps sourcing meat from places that I trust.  I want to do another ruthless closet clearing so that I can send some warm clothes to places where they are needed.

Silly things. Seemingly pointless.  But if more people did little things then big things would happen…

Monthly archives

There’s a hamster in your vag….

Last Thursday night I was chatting to a friend who has just come back from a holiday in Thailand and she was telling me how she and her boyfriend had gone to watch a live sex show. Now that’s all very well and fine –  you don’t go to Bangkok and NOT watch a sex show. That would just be stupid. But now… She’s telling me about all these things (ping pong balls and dart throwing) and then she tells me how this woman put a hamster up her vagina. After it walked around in there a bit she removed it and placed the hamster on my friend’s boyfriend’s knee – at which point the vag juice soaked hamster started cleaning itself.

MIND BLOWN!

I can’t stop thinking about this poor little soaking hamster that had to clean vaginal fluids off itself!!

I want to cry!! Every time I think about it I actually feel faint!  And I just can’t help thinking “oh my god how many hamsters spend their nights crawling into vaginas?” And I just can’t stop thinking about it…

I don’t think I’m cut out for this world…

Monthly archives

Suffer all the Animals…

Can I tell you a not-so-secret? I am not a pet person. Ok…maybe I’m just not a dog person. This house has a ton of animals in it. Tanks full of fish, a cage full of birds, hamsters and a very bouncy dog. They stress me out. The fish keep dying too often which is stressful. The birds too (it’s been cold – we had to move them into the lounge where it is warm) and the dog…? Oh my heavenly God I hate the dog. The damn effing dog likes to chew up my carpet, pee on the floor and bark it’s little head off when I am trying to sleep. It chases cars (who knew that dogs ACTUALLY do that??) and the neighbours swear at me because of it’s existence on  a weekly basis. I could quite happily live a Carrie Bradshaw life with no plants or animals to take care of – and I would not feel like my life was empty. I do NOT understand people who think that their dogs/cats are children. I don’t get it. End of story.

Animal testing, on the other hand, is something that has haunted me for years. It is one of those things that make my heart bleed when I think about it, and so I have tried to just not think about it. In my limited knowledge I have basically boycotted Johnson & Johnson for years… And by boycotted I mean for the most part I try not to buy their stuff but still use it if someone else gives it to me. Ever been to a baby shower where there wasn’t an abundance of J&J products? Though I do admit that I gave most of the J&J products I got at my baby shower away to a car guard who told me his jobless niece had just had a baby…

Then I got married in Molteno. And the next day I went to church and at church my little sister sang a song by Brook Fraser called “Flags”. I cried through the whole thing because my God it is the most beautiful song ever written and i dare anyone to listen to my sister sing and NOT want to cry. Anyway – a line in that song goes like this: When apathy acts like an ally, my enemy and I are one and the same. 

That line has not stopped haunting me.

But now…the problem is this: WHERE THE HELL DO I EVEN START????!

PETA has long lists of companies that don’t test on animals. I haven’t heard of a single one of them. I don’t know where to start!

So far I know for sure that Annique does not do animal testing. So I am sorted for make up – I really don’t give a crap about make up brands because I pretty much only ever use eyeliner anyway. They also have perfumes and deoderants.

I have been using Herbalife face products for years and they don’t do testing so my face stuff is sorted.

But what about hair dye?

Nailpolish?

Effing laundry detergent?!

I think that our big companies need to start realizing that this is important to people and that if THEY took a stand things could really change in the world.

Imagine if Edgars or Foshini’s new marketing champaign was “Beauty without Cruelty” and they decided that only cruelty free products would be sold in their stores? Wouldn’t that be awesome? Then overwhelmed people like me could at least feel confident about our purchases.

I know you get little organic and cruelty free places… but they are still kind of small and inconsequential, not to mention often unaffordable. Although I do want to start supporting those kinds of places anyway. But they don’t sell hair dye!

Just Google it? You say? Well you try that please…. Because I have come up with squat.

And I need to dye my friggen hair!!

Monthly archives

Susan Cain ~ The Power Of Introverts

Last night our little club finally met up again after a bit of an absence and I got to share the video that I’ve been keeping in my pocket for over a month now.  The first time I watched this video it made me cry, which made me feel like an idiot because why the hell would something like that make anyone cry?

I think Susan Cain possibly validated the instincts that I have been fighting against for the last few months. The writer in me has gotten herself completely lost over the last couple of months. And at this point I don’t think she will be coming back any time soon. All I want to do is lock myself away and in the process close everyone out. Just for five minutes. Just five minutes where I won’t be interrupted with demands for oatees/tea/bread or any of the other things that come with the inconvenience of actually knowing other people. And I know that sounds terrible! I wonder if Dr. Seuss’s bell tower office is occupied t the moment…

Monthly archives

Hi. How are you. Kill me now.

I hate chit chat. Possibly with an unreasonable passion. And of course this makes me feel like I am a bad person, but I can’t help it. It’s boring! I get that it has its place in real life society. I do. It’s polite to ask your father-in-law how he is. It’s an awkward silence filler to complain/rave about the weather.

Social media and technology have taken this pet hate of mine to a whole new level.

Let me be brutally honest here. This is what happens when most people contact me, ESPECIALLY if it is via Whatsapp/FB chat/sms.

You: Hi

(I roll my eyes and swear, but I am usually polite so I answer)

Me: Hi

You: How are you (or worse: HRU)

Me: I’m fine. How are you?

You: Good

(I don’t respond)

You: What you up to?

Me: I’m talking to you.

You: Lol! No man!

*tearourhairgocrazy*

SERIOUSLY! Now how much time has passed? For what? To say hi how are you and what are you doing? You are not interested in how I am or what I am doing. You are: BORED. And you are stealing MY time because you have nothing else to do.

Now this thing is this: I don’t mind if you come to me because you need to talk. But talk. PLEASE for the love of god. Come to me and say “Hey I know I haven’t spoken to you ever but xyz and abc”. Get to the point. Immediately. I do not find it rude for you to say: Hey Nades I need your help/can I ask you something/do you have so-and-so’s contact details for me/I think your friend blah-blah is adorable can you set us up.

Is it just me who feels this way? I really am starting to wonder if I am not simply becoming cantankerous in my advanced age…

I think there was a point to this post but I can no longer remember what it was…