I’m feeling a bit sad tonight after discovering that the White Temple has fallen into disrepair because of an earthquake. A year ago I was blown away by this particular work of art and I had hoped to take my children to see it one day. Sadly I have no pictures of the inside of the temple, as cameras were not allowed. The outside is magical of course, but I found the mural on the inside to be quite profound and indescribable. The idea that it has been irreparably damaged is devastating. I can’t imagine how disheartened the artist, Ajarn Chalermchai, must be. How hopeless! I gues I should just count myself lucky to have experienced it in its full glory…
I’m getting seriously excited about our upcoming trip to Thailand and I keep thinking about the trip I had almost a year ago which leads me to wishing that I had written about some of it at the time. I suppose dragging a laptop around with me on holiday might have felt too much like work, but still, I should have done a bit of documenting. I plan to do a much better job of documenting my travels on our trip to Thailand in September, but it won’t be a rehash of the trip I had last May so it will be missing a few things.
One of those “things” will be a trip to Laos, which is one of the stranger places I’ve been to in my life, and I’m kind of sad that I won’t get to take my husband there because I think he might find it fascinating. I guess maybe we’ll get around to visiting the place at some point, but it definitely won’t be this year. (more…)
The three people who pay half an iota of attention to my incessant ramblings on Facebook may have picked up that I have plans to move to Thailand. Weird how these things work. You say the idea out loud and it’s fun to talk about and make plans but it usually feels like you’re having a conversation about what you plan to do with your fictitious lottery winnings. Well, after almost a year’s worth of “what I’d like to do” conversations followed by a few more serious conversations over this last month I have finally taken the first REAL step into making this all a reality: I paid for something. In fact I paid a lot of money for something!
I decided in February (while I quietly sat in the back seat of my dad’s Volvo on the way home from a wedding in Cape Town) that the scariness of our plan was that we planned to just go to Thailand, do our practical TEFL course and then kind of “wing it” as far as finding accommodation etc was concerned – with three kids in tow! The thought was kind of horrifying. So, what I decided to do was somehow save up for a separate no-kids-in-tow trip to Thailand for just the two of us. That way Ty can be sure that he is definitely happy to live in Thailand for a little while and we can do our course and figure a few things out without the pressure of over-excited kids to entertain.
Of course this is easier said than done. My three most consistent clients have politely dropped me with a “we’ll be in touch” promise that has yet to be fulfilled. Bye bye finances! Of course no one is taking my calls. So “saving” is proving to be a little tougher than I had originally hoped. Luckily Ty’s Herbalife business is ticking over steadily so that helps a lot.
The point is: I paid my first payment on our TEFL course. The payment has gone off of my credit card. We have to be in Thailand (Phuket) on the 13th of October. I am elated and terrified at the same time. But mostly elated because I just absolutely cannot wait. My kids are so excited. I am so excited. My husband is excited. There is happiness in my house.
Finances are just going to have to keep up otherwise I might have to exchange pics of my boobs for Kickstarter donations.
I’m missing Thailand. Have you ever felt like you were homesick, even though you were already home? I get that feeling sometimes. A little bit displaced. Frustrated. Like I’m supposed to be somewhere else, but there is no where else to be. I’m not missing a person…all my people are here. It’s a strange feeling. (more…)
I’m struggling to be home. Perhaps this is a ridiculous observation, but it has already been five days since I got back from Thailand and I am still trying to escape or downplay the suffocating mantra playing in my head: I’m sick of here.
I think I’m a pretty patriotic person. I get annoyed often when people piss off overseas to “escape” South Africa. You shouldn’t go somewhere to get away from somewhere else. If you want to go somewhere it should be because “there” is where you want to be, and not because “here” is where you don’t want to be. Does that make sense?
Except that I’m struggling with “here” now. I haven’t really before. Ok, I lie. I have once before. When I was 18. I am now 31. I should be a bit less crisis-sy. And yet all I want to do is pack away my life and piss off because I am so mind-numbingly over the proverbial rat race that I could scream. The holiday I took was supposed to fix that, but instead it seems to have simply accentuated it.
I think I’m tired of living in this Westernized world where everything seems to be about pressure. Pressure to have the right kind of job and make the right kind of money and drive a decent car and buy a house and have fancy gadgets and blah blah blah blah blah.
I met the coolest guy just over a week ago. Do you know what he does for a living? He hops on a boat and takes people to Phi Phi Island every day. Do you know what happens there? Nothing. You eat. You drink. You swim. You catch a tan. You snorkel. You do nothing. It’s fucking awesome. This man has the best job in the world. Every single day he gets to experience happiness. Because all that nothing comes with a fuckton of happiness that none of all this other shit we aspire to brings. He makes people happy. He gives people the experience of a lifetime. Every. Single. Day.
And what do we aspire to? Go to school. Go to college. Get a good job. Make lots of money.
Fuck that ideal. It’s stupid.
I wrote a Bucket List a little while ago. I know Bucket Lists are supposed to be a “before you die” thing but I think that’s dumb. I nearly said “no” to this trip. In fact I did at first. It seemed too overwhelming. Too expensive. Too “unplanned”. My brother and my folks qualified for a Herbalife holiday to Phuket and my brother asked me to be his “plus one”. Dreamy! I just need spending money and money for a ticket. Even so little seemed impossible. But somehow I did it. Which brings me back to the “before you die” part. Lately I have been asking myself why we continuously put the things we want off. Not everyone does that. I do. And then ten years later I wake up and go “But I wanted to do that! Why didn’t I?”
When I get home I am going to cross Thailand off of my Bucket List. And then I am going to add many many more items to the list. And I am going to start doing them…
For now though I have 15 days of amazing ahead of me. Thailand has been my Number One country to visit for as long as I can remember.
And you know what? Making it happen wasn’t that big a deal! Even when strange unforeseen circumstances hit and I fell apart, it STILL turned out ok.
Say what you want about God, or religion, or faith. I believe that there is a force out there that wants good things for all of us. And I believe that as soon as you take a step towards the things that you want (instead of merely staying in once place and wishing) an entire Universe starts to conspire in your favour to give you those things.
A part of me is sad to leave my husband and my baby sister and my baby behind. But leaving the opportunity behind would have been even more sad!
By this time next week I will be on a plane. Well… I think I’ll be on a plane… I should really check the flight times… But yes… Sometime next Monday I will be on a plane to Thailand and at this point it could seriously not come soon enough. All I want to do right now is dig into my cupboard and start packing. No idea what to take really. I’m thinking an empty suitcase with plenty of space for souvenirs. Also my sanity. I should pack my sanity and try to glue it back together again with a bit of wine once I’m settled on the plane. Yes. Let’s do that…